Blog Archive

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Integrity of Heart

24 March 2012

Having Integrity of heart is better then wasting your freedom on selfish indulgences, that of which bring about an idleness that binds you in self-made chains & keeps the true person you want to be, from ever being realized and portrayed in the world you live in.
Integrity comes by not compromising your conscience, according to your understanding & having your beliefs founded in the notion of love.

The true extent of your integrity is directly proportionate to the true extent of your willingness to love.

If you don’t love or care for something or someone, then integrity matters not, as vanity is all that is of concern to such a person, indeed they wont look to see past their own interests, which at the same time inflict some damage to those around them. They may not see the damage, yet the only way they will see it is through an experience of love which another casts upon them, of the undeserved kind.


Knowing you

15 March 2012

The idea of knowing yourself is quite underplayed in the world i’ve seen around me. It seems those who know themselves the best become our heroes, they are the few, they seem strong. It’s likely the truth.

I’m exploring the idea that those people who seem to have unending potential and ever changing possibilities are precisely in that position because they can remove their own limitations, or at least challenge them. You may have heard the term ‘you are your own worst enemy’, this can be so true sometimes. We simply may have grown up in a discouraging environment in our formative years of being a teenager, which clamped us down with ‘you can’t’, ‘don’t’ and ‘listen to me’, which instilled in our souls a growing belief that we are a dissaproval to anyone we face in our lives by default, as the ones who were closest to us treated us a bit unimportantly.

What i see from my own experience of life, is that if you didn’t grow up with the confidence of being your own person and putting a value on your identity, then it’s going to be hard to gain it on your own. You are damaged, and repairing yourself can’t really begin until the basic fundamental understanding of human relationships has re-established.

This means finding someone to trust. Finding someone to value and finding someone to listen to you. Then hopefully beginning to accept yourself. As once you have honestly assessed yourself and are able to give yourself a value, that is more then just another persons ‘dissaproval waiting to happen’, you may find life improves and relationships can get better, more open and honest and less judgemental and more accepting. This is lifes journey.

I suggest we stop always looking for a battle, battles should only be temporary events along the journey of a life that deserves to be embraced.


Confrontation

14 March 2012

Confronting something that you fear will always be the most challenging thing you do in your life. You have probably already noticed in your own life that the things you did confront may not really be a big issue anymore, yet the confrontations don’t really end as life goes on. It’s as though once we seem to have one thing under control, another aspect of life comes to your attention.
I think this is because the world one human is part of and seems to have control over is quite small, in comparison to the world around them. As long as you keep looking at only maintaining your own world, it will only ever have a small impact on the life around you. It’s seems ironic, we live in a world with billions of people and yet we seem to think we don’t need to know any more then a few of them, we seem to think our own lives are all that matters at times. This is a problem with the western society(and probably others) today.

Look at the basics, we strive to have our own house, we strive to live seperately from the world around us, we live to find our own slice of the pie. How can this realistically be our goal? while it’s true our life was borne in seclusion(generally; ie. except twins), in isolation in the womb, yet once we come out of the womb we enter into a world with other people. isn’t that saying something obvious? can we confront issues greater then our own personal fears? can we confront issues that divide us and not end up fighting about it? can we think a bit bigger, as it may be of use to the world around us.


Find yourself

3 March 2012

I think at times we may all feel like we have lost ourselves, a time where the things we thought wouldn’t happen, did. When the things we once found comfort in have been taken away or changed by an experience you weren’t prepared for.

It also isn’t always going to be a sudden event that can knock you off your feet. It can be a slow build up of a withheld emotion, feeling or pressing question within yourself, that causes so much inner pressure, that it comes steaming out in frothy messy spurts, that rise from beneth the lid, that you try so desperately to keep on the saucepan of your heart, in order to appear like it’s all together. No human can stand this pressure for long.

It’s a possible requirement for humanity, to take time out of our usual lives, so that we can stop and let our true feelings out. To have a place where secrets can be shed, without fear of condemnation. As it is likely the secrets we keep have exasperrated far beyond there real consequence. Things aren’t often as bad as we imagine in our own little saucepan sized world in our head. The trouble with this is its hard to find a place to shed these true feelings. As we are surrounded by so many lies, the risk of exposure is often too much to bear.

So let me mention this; you can travel, run around searching and looking for something or someone that will somehow make you be better or feel better. All these things aren’t going to bring change, they may be new experiences, but you will likely just stay the same and your frustration will grow, because if you really want to find yourself, it’s starts right here, where you are.

Honest questions with honest answers, even in your own private world, have the power to change, not only your world, it also increases your capacity to embrace the world around you, as you are no longer as concerned with it’s demands and trends and appearances, because the outside pressures of the worlds expectations don’t define you as much, when you are honest with yourself.


Control

28 Feb 2012

I can choose to be alive and pro-active to my feelings, ambitions and hopes or i can lay dormant in self pity at the lack thereof.

I have wondered; what if our lives and choices aren’t really ours? what if every experience of yours was part of a story that you’re not writing?

What if you’re a character in a story and because everything is so real and you cant read past the page you’re on now, you don’t feel like you’re in a story. It feels like an adventure when you experience new things you enjoy, but then when you get hurt, it becomes a sad dream, a surreal reality. Do we really control our lives? it’s a bit overwhleming to think like this. I think its worth pondering.

Freedom to express ourselves is a freedom we all crave, but it’s also about being accepted in your freedom, as we often find comfort in each others problems, as we often value distraction above confrontation. So if freedom makes us stand out and vulnerable to other peoples judgments, we may deny ourselves freedom, in order to feel part of society around us and comfortable in its imperfections.

What is this freedom we chase? why is their always a battle in order to gain it?


Share it with another

14 Jan 2012

How do i decide what is right? how do i know what i need? what do i allow and what do i deny?

Life throws you into many situations, it brings along with it many desires and convictions. I have always stuggled with the idea of how my actions and thoughts affect my life. Part of me just wants to live in the moment and forget consequences, then another part of me wants to do things right, use a bit of discipline and based on my knowledge and my experience of my own feelings and past consequences, i make decisions, not solely for personal gain but for the general good of myself and those around me.

Then i think that surely no person can know every outcome for each decision they make, our minds are finite resources, directly influenced by our current surroundings, though i know there are exceptional genius’s around who are above the norm and can absorb much more information then me and make wiser choices.

What i see in my self is that i am inherrently self centered, i look to my own needs, regardless of the world around me. Also taking into account if i’m not healthy and happy to a certain extent i am not very useful to any one else. So i see a need for balance between how much we look after ourselves and how much we care for those around us. I know that being alone is not good for anyone over a long period of time.

Caring for people is a healthy choice. It also gives more meaning to your life and more joy, as your experiences can be shared and celebrated or grieved together, which i beleive makes all the difference toward attaining contentment in our soul. When a moment is shared willfully with another, that shared moment means more then any moment alone ever could. In saying that i am not saying being alone is a negative thing, it is often required to be experienced many times in our life times, though if you have a choice, i say; share it with another.


We means only, I

11 Jan 2012

We can be so stubborn. We can be so selfish. We can’t see 2 feet in front of us, we see the world as it affects only I or ME. We forget to look around, we don’t even look, at those around us sometimes.

I see this in me, it destroys me. I don’t need personal development. I need people to love, and to love me. How long can you live without a personal love in your life?

Without a genuine love in your life your heart grows callously in isolation. It impacts your personality and makes you less sociable.
You don’t relate to other people as you cut them out and judge them as intruders of your world, which isn’t that great. Life is meant to be shared. The risk in love is the hurt at it’s end, but the risk without love is loneliness and the wasting of time. If an individual does the greatest things, if he does them alone he has no one to celebrate those small victories with. So the great things mean less. They actually make you feel more alone, so you soon do a bit less, then you probably get depressed.

So if your alone choose to love someone, it will change your life.


Desire will come

10 Dec 2011

It seems sometimes the things we truly desire in our hearts can be achieved.

Life is a constant battle of finding what you are looking for and understanding what you are looking for. Sometimes we don’t know why we desire something, we just do.

I think we each have our own roles in life, a destiny of types, yet i also think we can destroy our own potential by having very critical attitudes toward ourselves, which makes it hard to be happy and to be content and fuflill our potential(which can be found somewhere in our deep desires within our hearts).

You may be thinking, i’ve been hurt so bad by someone or life has given me crap and i’ve had no control over it. If i feel like that i reflect on the world around me, i am human, i am not alone, i feel alone because i keep myself a secret and so i can’t let others relate to me and vice versa. So i will give out this little bit of hope.

There will be a time the desires of your heart, will come, if you persist at life and desire to grow wiser in it.

I think that the following are fairly generic desires for humanity: firstly to be loved and accepted, then second find a place you can be yourself, and third, to do things that provides for your needs and also enjoy. If you don’t have all of those desires fulfilled, you’re not alone. Wake up to life and share some of it with your neighbours, i guarantee you will discover new things about them, your life and about the world we live in. It also doesn’t mean it will be easy, hardship produces character. So don’t fear when it’s not going easy.

Matt Corby – Brother. This song relates a bit to the above. just heard it today.


Goals & Life

17 Nov 2011

I’ve played futsal(a soccer hybrid sport) for a while now and only after months of playing for the fun of it and mostly losing, my team learnt a bit of structure, basically players held a position rather then just getting the ball to the goals, meaning defense stayed back and attackers play closer to the front. This changes everything in a game, you are no longer performing desperate selfish moves to get a goal, your aim is to pass from your position to another team mates position, as opposed to finding just ‘someone’ to kick to.

Let’s relate this to everyday life, we can come a long and start playing around for the fun of it, it’s part of growing up, then you either find out you have a passion for something which dictates what you do or you are dispassionate and go do things as they come your way, it may not be entirely your choosing, but you do what you need to do to keep living a life you feel comfortable with.

I know which one i have been mostly, it’s dispassionate, this mainly comes as a result of not valuing my own feelings and desires from a young age, it led me to be a bit melancholy in life, as i didn’t think to look to my future and never really asked myself what i wanted to do, i just wanted to feel good. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just means i’m a bit behind in developing a life that i want and appreciate. The point i want to get across to you and myself is that without a goal to aim for you won’t plan, and without a plan you are not really moving forward in your development as a person, at least not as much as you could be. In life you have a few standard facts to face regardless of how passoinate you are, basically facing the death of loved ones, having an income and someone to love are at the top of the list, that’s how i percieve it to be at the moment. Relating this to the futsal example above, would you live life better if you knew your position in life and where you wanted to be or do you think living a life on-the-fly with little definable goals, is just as valid?


Remember your Grandfather’s fight –
for you

11 Nov 2011

Today has been marked rememberance day, the day our grandfathers are remembered for the time they spent in war and those sacrifices they had made while in it.

I just watched the movie Kokoda, it was a stark reminder of the hardship our grandfathers were put through and that some were not even trained to fight and were up against a hardened enemy. The courage to perservere through rain, mud, humidity, mosquitos on top of seeing those who you laughed with one day, be seen dead the next day.

The horrific experiences our grandfathers endured and will never forget, which afterward became a soggy stinking sack of repressed memories they carried on their shoulders when they came back, are a big burden for them to bear. We took this for granted and still take it for granted.
Lest We Forget.


That moment in Madness

31 Oct 2011

The pressure builds up slowly, then a moment passes and it is exaggerated in an instant, the blood starts pumping, then a slight freeze comes over you and the event turns into a slow motion HD advert but this time what you are watching, can actually come get you and hurt you. Then it does and the shock overwhelms, fear brings upon you a numbness, without notice you’re a victim and your powerlessness
hits you hard, your self-worth dissipates while trying to come to terms with how you could experience such unfair behaviour.

You never thought someone you trusted would ever do this to you, as you’ve never imagined doing to them what they’ve just done to you. So the event passes and you slow down, your heart is still pounding, the sorrow has built up within but now it’s slowly turning into a reservoir of self-pity and resilient acceptance of this unjust experience, then you begin belittling the experience, thinking it wasn’t that bad, (a traumatized victim’s justification), no-one needs to know. Then it happens again the next week, you did nothing wrong but you still are a victim of someone you once trusted, but now fear, the slow motion is now a nightmare you replay in your head, you numb down those bad feelings so you can still function and do daily tasks and keep busy distracting yourself from your own reality and not questioning how it got that way.

Slowly you deceive yourself into thinking maybe it’s ok this time and it won’t happen again, or i just keep quiet and it won’t happen again, maybe i deserve it. So the cycle begins.

—-

This was an attempt to show just one type of thought process a victim may go though and not really know it.


Sufficiency

29 Oct 2011

Let me pose a question to you; are you enough?

From an early age, we aspire to be more, to have more, to see more of life, then we already have. It’s an endless spiral of ‘getting enough to feel enough’.

To be honest these thoughts are inspired by a book by Brene Brown an american researcher, who studies human social issues basically. It is quite an insightful read. Now back to the point, as humans we have always aspired to be better then another person, an idea or a statistic. This is not a bad thing, without this desire we would all be living with out courage and probably die of boredom.

The issue i think is this ‘be better’ ideal is so super-major in our society, that it over-rides our other ideals, in a way where the ‘be better’ ideal is the centre of our universe, that all our other ideals rely upon.

It seems our aim is to be happy, but happiness is limited to being free of day to day worries because you have an income that supports all your needs, we think this is the main thing. It can’t be. It’s not enough.

What we lack so often is gratitude and joy. We very rarely take time to think of things we are glad about and why we love those around us. We need to take time out and reminisce. Although a major restriction to this is our fear of our past, alot of us have bad experiences which seem to overwhelm all other past experiences, especially the good ones. As it goes humans dwell on the bad stuff by default, the good stuff is always your choice to remember, thats why it’s so hard to remember the good stuff, we forget we have the choice or don’t even consider we have a choice.

Here is a saying i just came up with; ‘if i’m alive i have something to do, if in the end we all die, why rush it and why fear it? Death is natural and unavoidable, we need to accept this fact and not use it as a source of fear, by not loving someone because we fear we might lose them, but rather use it as the reason to love with all your heart as today could be your last day, just do the best you know how to and that’s what life is about.’

I am presuming here, that alot of our societies negative experiences such as family violence, abuse, neglect come from a similar feeling deep within us of inadequacy and regret about our lives, because we can’t comprehend life, as we could feel no one has helped us to know it along the way. We resort to manipulation and selfish behaviour when we feel vulnerable and can’t deal with it.

We fear being out in the open field where everyone can see you, but you should consider that without that open field you couldn’t see others either.

To sum up, maybe in order to feel sufficient about our lives, we need to look away from our possessions and skills, our failure and success, so we can see what we are without the ‘be better’ slide we put in for others to see. This means putting your vulnerabilty on the line and seeing how people respond when you leave a door open for them to get to know you. We can’t afford to fear being hurt all the time, beleive me i know that from experience.

Seeing yourself as a sufficient living human being can mean you don’t judge yourself so harshly, you appreciate those who have time for you and those who are commited to be in a relationship with you.

Humanity is all about human connection, having every possesion you want just makes you greedy and selfish if you don’t have people to share it with and give it all a meaning. We sometimes need to stop running to win everything that comes our way, as that would drive us insane, we need to stop counting our failures and start appreciating our lives, if you’re alive you can do something or at least help someone else. Being alive isn’t something to be ashamed of. You are enough, if you decide you are enough and stop basing your beliefs on your failures or fears.

A song i think touches on this topic:


Story of regret

14 Oct 2011

We can allow the things we want to pass us by, simply by delaying the actions required to get them. The things we want may only be available for a short time, if we aren’t sure of what we want, then its a sign you need to stop and do some deliberate thinking about the things you want.

A want can become a consuming need in your life, if you aren’t careful you’ll build everything around this one want. So it’s important that the things we want are worth the cost of losing everything else around it, if things don’t go according to plan.

There is nothing more de-moralising then having something within reach which could change your life, but then missing out on it as you were to busy being distracted by the question; ‘Are you are good enough to have what you want?’.

The arrogant seem to get what they want through sheer confident expectation, with no time wasted thinking whether they are worthy enough to get things that make them feel good. Though i think you can find a balance between arrogance and confidence if you add a bit of empathy to your approach, when chasing what you want.

I hope none of us fall into this story of regret where we hear:

you saw the one you love right there, but being to busy questioning your self, you failed to act on it, so they found someone who wasn’t afraid to act on their feelings, then you watch the one you onced love, leave.

Post inspired by the following:


Slides of You

8 Oct 2011

It has come to my attention that there’s aspects of life, i have not understood or been able to express. It is labelled vulnerability and confidence.

I have been shown that the way to be closer to people, is to be more vulnerable in your responses but also to be more confident in how you express them. The issue i’ve had is that i’ve been a quiet person all my life, it always nurtured in me the response “wait for them to initiate, then respond”, as i grew up with fear of judgement for expressing myself, or so i perceived that to be the case. My social interactions have a trademark of ‘observe and respond only if invited’, as i’ve always feared the negative response of others, also in part as i lacked confidence regarding my own responses. From what i can understand now, that being vulnerable is as much a strength as it can be a weakness. Sure if you express your self and get shut down by others, your feelings can be hurt, but we shouldn’t be needing approval of others. We need to see ourselves as we really are and express it. Another thing i heard is that the way we portray our selves, does not have to be the same everyday. I’ve often wondered how we so easily compartmentalize our feelings. We act differently in different environments and people. Those different actions are the shadow of our different selves which we move back and forth in our demeanor without noticing or questioning. We just need to be aware of this in order to start changing ourselves.

I will compare our selves and our core being with an old simple slide projector analogy.

As we grow up we create more history and discover more about each other. Through these experiences we mould our own slides aka persona’s which we bring to the front of the stack, to display what we want others to see in different circumstances.

from this diagram i will give simplistic explanation of humanity;

slidep

Our soul is like the bulb, it’s the source of your life and holds the core of who you are, if you realize it or not.

Then we have a mirror, which display our demeanor and personal traits, passed down through family.

Then we have a filter, the slide, which we place in front of our core being and the true mirror of our soul which we let others see. This slide we can change in an instant if we are aware of it, if we have any other slides to use. Slides take time to prepare and perfect. Some of us do it naturally without knowing, some like me who think too much take time to create.

Now to the core issue, you only express in life what you value or give worth to.

This being the case, if you don’t value who you are, you will never truly express who you are, you will forever hide behind the slide you created, which gives you the response from people you can expect and are used to most of the time.

If you don’t value your self, you can’t naturally allow others to value you, this affects all your relationships or lack thereof.

Let’s start to value ourselves and let others know who we are without shame, and tell others they are valued before they respond and don’t worry about their responses. Apparently, those who love another, express it before they know for sure what the other is feeling. It may be possible that your confidence can persuade others, so say what you want and let consequences come and go, then you may find that the things you want will follow you.

slidepfullslidepics


Pass it On.

24 Sep 2011

They way of family is diverse, so many cultures and religions influence the way parents raise their kids. I am not going to explore them all. All I will say is many people take advantage of having children and get so consumed with provision of the material possessions that they seem to ignore the character building aspect of being a parent.
I am not speaking with much authority on this matter as i don’t have any kids, but my observation begs the question will I be a parent who succumbs so majorly to monetary provision for my kids, that I not make time to teach my kids how to respond to different aspects of life that I’ve learnt?

I would like to think that as a parent i wouldn’t limit my involvement in my kids development because i feel just giving them a roof over there head is enough. Too many kids are running wild i believe, because parents have neglected their duty to show their kids how to deal with life problems and questions, mainly as we are to scared to face them ourselves. We need to face up to reality and share life so we don’t allow our children to waste life hiding their true feelings as secrets they don’t know how to release. You’ve done it enough.


The hold of family

18 Sep 2011

Here is a big question to ask, for some its a no brainer but for others it can be a matter of self preservation.
How far do you go to protect someone you love when you know they have or are doing something you know to be wrong?

Scenario 1 example:
The battered Wife.
A husband has been married to a woman for many years, then one day the husband starts getting angry at little things she does, which he decides not to like anymore. So it starts off with some callous words and soon enough the woman is so victimized by the husbands disappointment in her, she think she deserves it.
This is where the subtle beatings occur, occuring on parts of the body which are normally covered.
See the woman has 2 options: tell a friend and seek help, or keep quiet, to try and hide the shame a little bit longer.

Scenario 2 example:
The druggy.
We all know the stories, and we’re lucky if we’ve never had to go through it.
this is where we have a family member who starts using illegal drugs, we see their behaviour deteriorate, they become more unreliable and their eyes aren’t the same as they used to be. One day they come to you as they need more cash. See now you have 2 options: tell the cops and get your family member fined/and or arrested or help him out, give him cash.

Now to some this may seem simple to you, you either seek help or go to the cops.
As life would have it, unless you have been in this situation before, you don’t really know what you will do or are capable of, you may of never needed to lie before, then one day you may find yourself in a place where a lie could save you or someone from pain, at what point, do you think, would your feelings override your sense of moral judgment and at what cost would you keep your moral stance?.
One major way i thought to prevent these from getting to serious, is having a lot more communication early on in your relationships and develop openness with all your family and friends.
As life goes on, what we once thought was love can turn into a nasty fight for survival and what we once respected in the ones we love can be lost through bad experiences.
Things we can do to prevent this situation from happening to us or to those around us are, my suggestions only:

– Show real interest and communicate reguarly with people you care about
– people can be heartless to one another, you need to see through the cracks in isolated relationships around you.
– watch out for couples who are always happy in the social setting and only ever scratch the surface of their private lives, given their could be real reasons for that, but also remember people can be great liars and fear is a great motivator.
– Wife beaters won’t give the wife freedom, he will create unreasonable jobs for the wife to do and the wife will not do much social stuff alone, as the man may fear she may talk.
– sometimes the only way out for the wife or victim is through a friend, who can give them gentle guidance at first and help them express their suffering, it’s no use judging them and telling them their stupid for staying with him, it has to come from the victims mouth, it gotta be a journey not a quick fix, one emotional outburst could make everything worse.

People need a way to communicate thier life and experiences, but we don’t realize this is the case, but deep down we feel frustrated that no one is listening. We hide secrets because our shame is to great. whatever the wall of shame which our superficial society has built around each one of us, it needs to begin to crumble away. We need to break down our social limitiations and discuss our true feelings, somehow.


Cry

15 Sep 2011

There is a time for sadness.
I will be sharing a sombre thought to remind you, we produce tears for a reason.
I’m not focusing on tears produced by an obvious life situation such as death of a loved one(although it still could apply), these are tears about our every day lives, which you may or may not agree with, but here i go venting again.
From what i observed of myself and those around me, tears are held back often and people are ashamed of them.
People can be likened to emotional boilers(fictionary metaphor). The more emotions we keep in then the more the sadness, our hidden reserve of tears, fills the boiler, but if it’s too full it comes out in another form, rather then sadness it is bitterness which is produced like a steam which flows slowly from the small opening on top of the boiler.

We go though life trying to work through our emotions. Yet when it comes to tears we see it as a weakness, which doesn’t need attention.
I see tears as a marker for our lives(i’m not advocating crying everyday). It shows we see we can see our short comings and enable us to accept where we are and hopefully move on to be better then we were before. I think it is possible to neglect ourselves too often and in the process forgot how to know what we really want or need. Maybe it’s time for you to give yourself an honest evaluation and use your conscience as a guide and if you conflict with the ideas you know to be right, Admit it to yourself and see if a tear falls.

There are also those who think they don’t need to cry, they are either lucky, or haven’t thought to question themselves.


Risk

11 Sep 2011

There is a time to take risks.
When am i willing to take a risk? how can i pursue a gain without taking risk?

For the first question i am willing to take a risk if i perceive i have something to gain from it. It could be as little as an emotion or as big as a financial investment. Although the underlying reason for taking a risk is the hope that a risk or recurrent risks may be a catalyst for a change in our lives which we desire to attain but with our current level in life, cannot attain, in our current environment.

The change might be as simple as the adrenaline you feel when you climb a rock face, knowing that your life is in your own hands and knowing that when you make it up the top safely, you’ve achieved success, which feels good. Feelings are a big motive for taking risks.
The lengths humans go to for a feeling are huge and can be illogical.
Can a gain be given to you without a risk? to that i say the risk is mostly the gain itself. The day we stop taking risks is the beginning of mundaneness which can lead to things like depression. Then the flip side is the risks we take can often lead to anxiety, mainly because we don’t know our own end game, when we take risks. Generally we aren’t all smart and logical, we take risks to change something we don’t understand about ourselves, which is always going to make us more confused. So look at the world and all it’s confused inhabitants, ask yourself, who really understands humanity?
After all, we have only ourselves to question.

The Frustration

27 Aug 2011

Life and death.
We give and take, they give and take, then eventually at no time of our choosing we are taken away from this life. Though once we are taken no one has seen where we go.
We see people taken when they are young, middle aged and old. The sick and healthy are both facing the same end result, though with different journeys there.
It begs the question, what is our point?
if there is life after death, apparently it’s popular to think where we go or what we become after death is a consequence of our actions in this life. Yet this is a faith based philosophy, meaning you need to believe it regardless of ever seeing it occur.

Look at history, look at the many ways humanity can die and how many humans murder each other based on a belief or feeling, who have cut short a life which could have lasted a lot longer.
It begs the question, what is fate?
Our will to live, only matters if the persons with power to impact you, allows you to live life your way, which is then assumed that you will merge into the type of life the society forges around you.
Although a lot of us live life so far from authority figures, we don’t realize who we are under.
Lets go now to the basic family structure of;
Parents and Children
Parents have authority over you, to direct you, impact your thoughts, control your movement and punish you as they see fit, a young child can’t question this, all a child has is feelings to judge this by and are often selfish feelings(about not getting what you want) and unreasonable to deal with. As a result parents can get frustrated and punish the kids.
Therein lies the basic foundation for human behaviour, regardless of your belief, how much knowledge you have and how long you have reasoned about life, the simple fact is humanity focuses on its immediate desires first and foremost, and those who conflict with our desires are punishable in our eyes, if we aren’t violent then we ignore them and leave the conflict if we can, or we fight them with words or violence, in order to try, at times, in vain to continue life free of conflict, by either removing the opposition or converting them to our view, to affirm to ourselves, that our own desires are truer than theirs.

To sum it up: Human desires are the great dictators of the human mind. Who can master their desires?

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