“when we value being cool and in control over granting ourselves the freedom to unleash the passionate, goofy, heartfelt, and soulful expressions of who we are, we betray ourselves. When we consistently betray ourselves, we can expect to do the same to the people we love.”- Brene Brown (excerpt from her book: gifts of imperfection)
How often have you tried to play the part in order to appear confident or acceptable to others?
it seems we do not get told by others that we are ok as we are, like no one cares enough to speak up when we do something they appreciate.
Our western society is generally governed by assumption, while one assumes the other is ok, the other assumes no one really cares because our ‘how are you’ greeting is only a greeting not really a question. I’ve seen in myself how i focus on how i appear to others and as a result don’t take much risks or too profoundly enquire into another’s life, lest i end up with a basket case that will become emotionally dependant upon me and encrouch on my personal space ha.
I’ve come to see my insecurity about others lives is more reflective on my own insecurities, would i want to help someone overcome something i am also caught in the middle of with no answer yet? this would require vulnerability and compassion and confession, in order to be of any real help to the other.
The thought i really care about for this post is; do i trust who i am and can i freely express my heart towards others and can i care enough to listen and help another out?
the reason i don’t want another to deconstruct my world with their problems is because i have created my own world my whole life, i don’t know if i can give it up even for a brief time. To change this will take a miracle. A personal revelation of life i am yet to discover. The thing is if i valued myself and didn’t worry about measuring up to another’s standards then i wouldn’t have anything to lose, i would adapt to anything i could care about, i wouldn’t have to worry about the ‘other people’s perception’ factor.
i betray myself when i give up on expressing myself freely with the added possibility that I will betray other people’s confidence, to cover my own insecurities.
So lets not assume anymore, lets ask real questions and spare some real time with one another.