Questioning life is an expression of life, it’s the times in life where we don’t question what we think that bring about the most havoc into our lives and those around us.
Grief is like a burst dam wall & you are in the valley below it. You don’t know how far down the valley you are or when it will catch up to you & sweep you off your feet. Though once it hits you it immobilisers you for a while, then things settle, the flood dissipates, it is then you start to rebuild. Watch out for hindrances during the rebuild process such as bitterness, anger, un-forgiveness & blame. Don’t rush it, don’t ignore it. Accept it & embrace love, as it is the only treatment we have for it.
At times it can feel like you’ve had enough. Like life keeps re-running the same sad experiences over and over again.
It could be that relationships within your family or with a partner aren’t how you hoped they would be, so in your quiet moments, you could feel alone and sad.
Lets capture this feeling at this point. We tend to get desperate to find somewhere to feel good again, to feel special, to feel valued. You want to find a place, that you haven’t found before or maybe you did find a place and now it’s lost to you.
At this time you may wish for another world to come and open up around you where you can start again. The question of this other world you desire is; does it include the people you know now and some that you have lost along the way? or are you so full of regret or shame that you wish for your past to be forgotten and be able to find someone to love or a place to feel love, even accepted, just as you are, by someone?
If you relate to the first question, you are blessed and need to go embrace those people while you still can and let them know how you feel.
If you relate to the latter question, it is a harsh thing to contemplate. Some things in life we can’t control. Sometimes people with power and wealth abuse the poor, also sometimes a person can feel insecure about their own existence but are to afraid to question it, so they seek to belittle and control the lives of those close to them in order to give them a feeling of power.
Whatever the reason, whether you put yourself in the bad place you are in or someone else forced it upon you, you can’t give up, if there is no one to turn to help you, all i can say is cry out to God. As I know he has heard me before. You have to wait for a feeling to come upon you, you get an awareness of God only once you’ve truly tried to touch him.
Harshly though, life has a reality, that includes death, if you are thinking of it as a choice, don’t waste it. Give it up in order to help someone else get out of a place like you are in. It is then, more than likely you will find strength to fight again or you will die for something, rather than your own self-pity.
The song below is about someone who has felt hardship in life, they want to go to that place of rest, but also wake up and not be alone. Sure this may sound depressing to you, i know i may sound like a red flag for concern, writing like this, but don’t worry, these are thoughts to reach out to people who feel this way and i want to make them ask questions about themselves.
If we stop questioning ourselves, that is a concern. Questioning life is an expression of life, it’s the times in life where we don’t question what we think, that bring about the most havoc into our lives and those around us. So wake up oh sleeper, rise from the dead, let Christ’s light shine on you.
Emily Browning’s version of Asleep:
This song actually inspired me to write this entry.