Violent Whispers

This song inspired this stream of thought… Silence by Marshmellow and Khalid.

Growing up I was a quiet one. Yet my emotions and inner thoughts were like violent whispers…whether it be shame and guilt or embarrassment and insecurity. My inner mind was always in a battle. Even as a Christian I was always playing a never ending game of jesus love and forgiveness versus my guilt and shame of not being perfect in my own will and understanding of my life. So after years of battling myself I worked out I had to let it all go. The self judgement. The game of right vs wrong while understanding that I am just a man with no ultimate truth, except this; that I am a man alive and in need of my own grace in regards to accepting my own percieved weakness and flaws, so I can move passed this and become a father able to love his family.

I need to remind myself of the value of this limited life and the love I have found and foster daily within my own family. As a parent your beliefs are reflected by your child as they mimic you on there journey to becoming their own person.

In summary, it’s about recognising and encouraging self acceptance, life and love that changes a man of violent thoughts and emotions to a passive man that can enable himself to be the man he wants to be, rather then a man formed by his own insecurities and everyone elses ideas and judgement upon him, unable to see beyond his own wall of self-pity.