Violent Whispers

This song inspired this stream of thought… Silence by Marshmellow and Khalid.

Growing up I was a quiet one. Yet my emotions and inner thoughts were like violent whispers…whether it be shame and guilt or embarrassment and insecurity. My inner mind was always in a battle. Even as a Christian I was always playing a never ending game of jesus love and forgiveness versus my guilt and shame of not being perfect in my own will and understanding of my life. So after years of battling myself I worked out I had to let it all go. The self judgement. The game of right vs wrong while understanding that I am just a man with no ultimate truth, except this; that I am a man alive and in need of my own grace in regards to accepting my own percieved weakness and flaws, so I can move passed this and become a father able to love his family.

I need to remind myself of the value of this limited life and the love I have found and foster daily within my own family. As a parent your beliefs are reflected by your child as they mimic you on there journey to becoming their own person.

In summary, it’s about recognising and encouraging self acceptance, life and love that changes a man of violent thoughts and emotions to a passive man that can enable himself to be the man he wants to be, rather then a man formed by his own insecurities and everyone elses ideas and judgement upon him, unable to see beyond his own wall of self-pity.

emotions amidst childhood

When a kid grows up with out much direction, coupled with a numb heart of unexplored desires, they really can end up as an adult with no vision for the future. They are used to living day by day and reacting to situations, as the idea of preparing for something that may or may not happen seems tiring, if that thought does ever come into their head.

This is a result of being driven mainly by emotions with no real sense of logic or reason. To add to this dilemma, the emotions which are driving the kid tend to be misguided and misused.  This tends to be the case more with kids who have an unstable family life, where they may experience verbal and emotional abuse aswell as physical, or simple neglect. Yet can also be the case in an apparent normal home, no family is perfect after all.
Another aspect to this is that logic and reason are foreign to these kids as they’ve grown up with illogical behaviour from those close with them. The world is full of these types of kids. I’m one of them.

Illogical behaviour is simply acting flippantly on emotions and making rash decisions without concern for others, whether intended or not, it doesn’t matter. When parents do this around their kids without any explanation or gentle reasoning, it gets messy. The kids will try to find an escape and shut them selves off from the family and probably start viewing porn to get a sense of relief. Thus increasing the sense of emotional numbness in the family home.

Human emotion can become a wild beast if left unattended and like most wild things, it will either run away or charge toward anything that approaches it. We need to learn of ourselves and pursue self-control, not so that we are easy to be controlled by others, but so we can stop ourselves from hurting others and help us identify if we are causing the hurt. This requires each person looks into their own hearts at times and question their motives and their point of view, or to put it another way; being selfish is not our right, it’s just one of our choices, if we could recognize that it would be significant for all those around us.

Domestic Violence – Melbourne

I’ve seen a little on this subject occur in my family, just want to clarify some points in general and some police insight, relating to melbourne law, i just want to clarify some things for those going through a violent/emotional time with their partners/friends/family. Whenever you are a victim of violence, especially from someone you love it is always hard to report it or show others what you are going through. You are facing embarassment, confusion, shock, sadness, fear amongst other emotional feelings.

Once you make the choice to get out of the situation theses are some hints to help you get out:

– tell someone you can trust, you’ll need a friend to help you through it.
– if you have been beaten where bruising/noticeable injury occurs(use a mirror), take pictures of bruises and get a friend to witness them and make sure they know they will be witnesses, if court hearings take place.
– Best case is the Police can kick out the violent person in the home straight away, if the event is obvious. When you call 000, the police will witness the scene you are in and if you are a victim of violence, they will see it and they can take the violent person away from the house straight away. The main thing is that you report the problem and file an Intervention Order against the violent person.

the limitations:

– if you call 000 and leave the house after the violent act, and don’t return, nothing will happen when the police turn up to the
– after you call 000 and leave the place where the violent person is, make sure you stay around the area and return to the area when
police arrive to give your statement of evets and hopefully an intervention order can be placed that day and the violent person is
kicked out of the house, then if the violent person returns, call the police and they can arrest them.
-if the violent person leaves you in the house alone, you can call 000 and report you need help and hopefully you can place an
intervention order against the violent person.
– the day this occurs either have a friend stay with you or go to their home, somewhere you can feel safe.

the faults in melbourne law:

– if there are no witnesses to an event, and its your word against theirs, with no physical evidence(photos, witnesses, injuries), its
likely nothing will happen except you both waste of money on lawyers
-A person can be a victim of violence forever, if they don’t report it. Even if a person noticeably beats another, if they don’t report it, nothing can change. Victim is caught in a cycle of trauma.
-A victim who thinks they love the offender will be a punching bag until a friend steps in to encourage them out of it or until they die from a beatings..

the best evidence you can have:

-A witness of a violent event
-photo’s/video of a violent event.(not entirely sure about this, another catch is its illegal to film a person unknowingly wthout
their consent, even if you film someone beating another, it could be dismissed in court based solely on this one ‘privacy law’, its another story if its a public security camera possibly.)
– a confession
-keep a record of threats voiced to you and especially if its written/emailed to you.

These are some points for you to start with if you know someone caught in a DV situation.
Lawyers you will want to see:
Family lawyers.
how to find:
A good website is run by australian government:
you are entitled to a free 30 min session with any lawyers on that site to get a quote for your situation.