Our emotions can lead us to places we often fear to tread by our own volition. Our emotions, thoughts and feelings are often signposts for what we will become, our emotions want to be expressed without fear of judgment and once truly expressed it allows you as a person to become a better and stronger version of yourself that can see a lot clearly what you want out of life. If we choose the alternative to expression, which is suppression we face becoming what we fear and risk losing control of ourselves. As the longer we suppress our true feelings the more bitter and negative our own feelings towards ourselves will become and we become a more bitter and cynical person as a result. It’s better to tread our ways to an uncomfortable place ourselves by choice, rather than letting the emotions bottle up and lead us to a dramatic confrontation of our own inner insecurities. Who can accept us if we are truly open and honest about our feel? Mainly only those who care for us will be able to accept us, but we may be surprised how supportive strangers may be as well. Everyone who judges you negatively is just a critic with no understanding of your life and history, so it’s better to live for the ones you love rather than those bitter lonely critics. We are all human, experiencing similar feelings as each other. The sooner we admit that, the better we will all be for it.
How do I see my own potential? very narrowly and subjectively and well…very naively. My emotions rise through me and I hear their clanging at my mental door, trying to get out and have there say. But from early childhood I’ve always taught myself to repress, to suppress my inner self and it’s probably saved me a lot of regret but then again it may not have been all as bad as I suspected, If I’d just felt free enough to express my emotions in the moment.
It may have actually stunted my growth by avoiding confrontation, as by doing so I avoided learning from any mistakes or any success, which may have helped frame my own understanding who I am.
I am a classic overthinker, who observes and judges but then decides not to say anything, with a few exceptions. I have been changing over the last few years. I believe I am more open and less judgemental and less fearful, or I have managed some of my fears. Though I seem to find it hard to define who I am.
I see myself as a collection of fears and insecurities wrapped up in a congenial shell, that is too congenial. Which others may see as a type of complacency, or disinterest in them as I don’t appear to give genuine answers, maybe as I think too much, which oozes ill confidence which is as unattractive as a leaf landing on a fresh turd, not something you will see very often, but nothing you would think to appreciate or remember.
There’s only been one moment in recent memory that has actually brought change within me, internally, in regards to how I view my world. It was January 4, 2014 after work I walked Toby(my dog) in nearby bush track at Mt Charlie, I was thinking to myself and frustrated with my introvertedness and my fear of reaching out to new people. Then this thought sprung into my mind, ‘let go of all fears and assumptions in your mind and look at the possibilities unfold before your eyes’. Now this may sound rather unprofound to you, but when something brings a revelation to yourself, you feel changed and those words are like a mantra for me, well, that’s if I remember to re-sight them when I’m feeling awkwardly quiet. But it’s like a starting point for me, to overcome my habitual fears. I want more change like this occur, but I don’t think I can just will it to happen, it happens in its own time and I think I just need to be in a place which allows me to be free and to own my own feelings, then more change is likely to occur. But doing so goes against all my ingrained nature. Also for me it’s the natural world, the bush, the trees the dirt which I get my energy from, I think I need to own this, then I can grow as the nature around me grows, perhaps?
What I can do now is embrace all I know and let any oppression fall off of me. I cannot reason my life out according to my level of shame or according to my happiness alone. The inevitable and unpredictable change that life can bring to us does not favour the fearful and habitually digressive mind. Avoiding the things we are too afraid to mention only serves the fear and entraps you in a place that stunts your growth. To those of us still living under the banner of passivity, may you find the courage to find a way to tear it down and replace it with a word such as agility, which means flexible with change and quick to adapt to the circumstances it is found in.
For Each A Role.
Fear can be a form of protection. Which tells you to stay clear from things that may hurt you.
Or it can be a form of captivity, restricting your movement & thoughts, either way each fear we have has shaped who we are today. It may also be helpful to view our fears as having a role in finding our freedom and also that sometimes our roles may be found just behind our fears. So be open to change and to challenge yourself.
Free Expression Affects Reality.
Finding out what you fear is quite a challenge and that journey can reveal so much that you may struggle to persist exploring. Even so, I think the more we can express of our hearts, the more reality becomes changeable to us. Our fears can make us dreamers, instead of achievers of our desires. Thinking about doing great things is noble, just so long as it leads to action. We can easily choose to escape to our dreams, imagining that we have the strength, the courage and the will to do it, yet we grow complacent with our dreams and treat them as a form of escapism from reality, a dream with only good consequences and no sense of responsibility.
So inspire Action with your thoughts, don’t just dream. Work out your fears, as in doing so, you may work out important things about your identity & passions, which have been hidden in places you may be letting fear overwhelm & distort. Sometimes facing fear is the only way to begin to see things clearly. I’ve noticed that once a fear has been acknowledged and eventually overcome, which has influenced you a lot(in a captive sort of way), you sense a new confidence and understanding of yourself. So be brave.
this is the song that instigated my thoughts here: