This moment of our lives is unique

​I just witnessed a car slowly veer into oncoming traffic which just happened to be a truck on lancefield rd at 720am, but the truck pulled over to side of road in time to miss the red ute which veered toward him and took up half the lane. Then the ute came back into its lane after it missed the truck and drove passed me. I was angry and shocked at what i just saw and thought about tooting my horn at them as they drove passed… Was it fatigue driving and they just started drifting over? but a few moments after i thought maybe it was intentional..then i remembered reading about suicide by trucks in australia and how it’s not that uncommon…and i may have just witnesssed an attempt at it. As all this happened i was listening to a dramatic instrumental piece in the car called ‘sunshine (adagio in d minor)’ by john murphy. Listen as you read.   https://youtu.be/NQXVzg2PiZw 

So now i wrote something like this..
This moment of our lives is unique.

To be alive is a miraculous priviledge.

Have you pain inside which you can’t negate?

Is their loneliness you can’t escape..

Does it feel like too much ..like

You can’t deal with whats on your plate?

Don’t linger on anger, despair or fate

Our lives are limited and fragile

Yet astounding and great.

Our pain is not our dictator

It is not an orrator for our life’s worth

Pain is a tool, it shows us our weakness 

It has the power to transform 

Ash into a great work of art.

Next time you feel pain

Don’t let it treat you like a slave 

You’re more then one bad feeling. 

You haven’t got much time left until the grave.

So be aware of your plight

And rather then squander your life

prepare to fight

Then i promise you’ll see a ray of light.

It’ll bring a change of focus.

The way you were before was just hocus pocus.

The life ahead of you is priviledged

Its unique and finite.

Treat it like new born child. Be gentle and supportive of all the weak areas. 

Then watch yourself grow into something beautiful.

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Connecting

People connect with one another, it is how we are meant to live. Connecting means engaging people in conversation, accepting people’s company, listening to their thoughts and speaking your own.

Throughout my past, I’ve always isolated myself by default, i guess it’s due to a childhood of criticism and the lack of open communication, it left me unable to be vulnerable to share my thoughts and life with another in a sincere way, i still struggle with this, but I have so much to gain by connecting with people, I’ve got to lose my inhibitions which confine my connections. People connecting with each other is a special thing. Especially strangers. Of everyone, those few whom you connect with & engage in conversation with are special. What draws us together?

You and I should stop resisting each other’s company out of fear or an exaggerated sense of personal insecurity, if you are doing that. In saying that you should excercise caution with the people whom you connect with. People who want to isolate you and keep you to themselves are not trustworthy and do not love you, well not love you with a love that wants the best for you, they tend to love you to control you. I hope you can discern the difference in your relationships. If not you’re setting yourself up for a world of hurt.

 

What are you thinking?

While thinking to yourself; you may hear what you always hear, you may say what you always say, but if you struggle to hear and say something good to yourself, then i say the brave challenge their own ideas when they feel unworthy and the wise discredit criticism by living without shame.

Our emotions are like rain drops, they come for a day or a season, but then dissipate, eventually changing to a sunny warmth, and like the weather, our emotions are meant to change. its called life. So before you get so old you can barely walk and speak, ask yourself if you need to change what you’re thinking and feeling. Don’t hold onto one feeling so much that it consumes you, rather make sure you take time out to re-evaluate what is really important to you, then take hold of that. As you maybe wasting time if you don’t.

Rant

The wheels keep on turning, the motor is still running, i am constantly driving but its as if i feel like the road directly in front of me is the only thing i can see, like i’m driving at night, but my high beams aren’t working, so i can’t make out the surroundings, just the small space in front of me. I don’t know whats going to come out in front of me. I drive in faith that i am going to get somewhere i want to go because i have no other option.

Planning my trip is a lot to ask myself, as i don’t know what i really want, only the idea of what i want. Only when opportunity comes about in such a way that i couldn’t of prepared it myself, does it feel like i can make a choice. I don’t often get in a position to make a choice, alot depends on factors of where i am both physically and mentally, plus what ideas are driving my mind/heart at that time.