Choose to live in the Anomaly for once..

“I owe my survival to a morning three years earlier when dust filled the air and i washed my face, wedged a roll of paintings under my arm, and paid a visit to an artist i never met before”
– Er Tai Gao, from his book ‘in search of my homeland’.

I had a dream last night that i was in some orderly group of guys, who were part of something together, then i had a sudden urge to walk out of the building the group was in and go for a walk, then on my return someone had come into the building and taken control of the group, and the guys were caught by the enemy. Upon waking from this dream i remembered the above sentence from a book i am reading, which i remember stood out to me as significant. I think the dream was a way for me to learn the concept of what i will call ‘living in the anomaly’. For example, Have you ever been in a group situation, where you were around friends or work mates and within yourself felt a sudden urge to do something rebellious, to go do your own thing, simply because¬† you have a desire to try something different? Then perhaps you ignored that feeling and joined in the conversation and acted interested, then went home as per usual.¬† The point i want to bring to your attention is, what if you did that something different?
How many movies are about people falling in love with strangers, or the kindness of strangers. We all want someone or something to come into our world that either saves us from trouble or gives us what we want but didn’t know how to attain ourselves.
Unfortunately our fear of the world, prevents a lot of us from embracing the risk of choosing the crazy liberating idea in our heads and instead we’re settling for more subtle, controllable expressions and actions so we aren’t seen as too weird for some.
The people around you are waiting for something they can’t describe, but mostly they want to feel connected, they want to be heard, they want to feel helpful, and there’s a chance that by you making an uncommon choice, by you listening to your often unspoken desires, by you walking a different path, talking to a new person, helping that stranger in the street, by you simply deciding to make a change to your daily routine, you may find something special, you may be the stranger the other person has been waiting for, so don’t be afraid to live in the anomaly as much as you want to, which is simply; to live with an open mind to change your behaviour and choices, and listen to your personal instinct, rather than silence it for the assumed good of those around you. Er Tai Gao had his life saved because he took a chance to meet with a stranger and that stranger saved him later in life from a death at a hard labour camp in china, so it’s the choice to change things in your life, to question your behaviours and to give yourself permission to make the different, possibly outrageous decisions in your daily life that lay dormant within yourself, which could be what those around you are waiting for, but it also could be what you need to do to save your own life.

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Giving your heart to something good

In life we have a tendency to have our attention consumed by our worries, our problems and our failures. While it’s healthy to reflect upon these things from time to time to learn from them or gather insight, it becomes a problem if we let our lives be overtaken by the feelings that often accompany these thoughts, generally it’s the fear of loss and failure. This can happen when we look into our lives and see the massive future we have in front of us, yet feel blindsided by our seeming lack of understanding and preparation for whats to come.

While it’s required to plan and prepare for many things in life, there is an aspect in life we also shouldn’t deny. It’s what i will call ‘Quiet Acceptance’, this is something we should also plan for, it’s a time to put our chores on pause, and embrace who we are and what we have become up to this point. This is actually hard to do for a lot of people.

It’s easy to think that a busy life is a good life, but it’s also possible it can keep our important thoughts and feelings beneath the surface, it can create a superficial happiness, where we can only rate our success according to the comparisons we place on others. I don’t think this is a good thing to do.

Our society tells us to be like other people, to like the same brands of products and have nice cars, this flows to our relationships. We watch other people, such as our friends and compare our value with the value we place on them or the value we hear others place on them.

The suggestion I put forward to you to counter this, is to regularly have a time of ‘quiet acceptance’, a time where you can reflect honestly and openly about your own life, let out as many of your emotions as you can such as; frustration, thankfulness, regrets, anger. Yell them to the wind and once you are satisfied, stop and wonder for a moment.

This moment is where you deal with the key things in your heart, this is also the moment where you are able to accept yourself, this is where you can learn to love, not only yourself, but all people, if you are willing to embrace yourself. As once we see our own weaknesses and frustrations aswell as our strengths and gratefulness, and embrace them, it opens our eyes to what other people are going through. It helps take away a negative mindset and allows us to give our heart to something better, something good, something like love or at least a pathway to it.