Letting go of the emotional/mental things I’ve hidden behind within my mind for so long is tough, frustrating, liberating and challenges my very soul. Who am i away from the confines of how i think i should be living, compared to the person i am when i am not ashamed to speak my genuine feelings, when i am the person who can let go of the fear of others peoples judgement and who can be totally genuine in the moment. (the latter is my goal). It’s scary. I’ve hidden my identity behind fears, beliefs and moral values, that I guess I never truly believed in my heart, this is why i was always struggling inside myself being very doubtful, lacking confidence too. I never discovered the man i was, as i was always busy trying to be the man i thought i was expected to be. Plus i was lazy and the struggle was a kind of habitual comfort to me, but i didn’t realize this at the time. Now It’s time to wake up, bring that man within me to the surface for once and no longer hide away in the shadows of my ‘apparent’ beliefs. All this was triggered by a single word, ‘genuine’. i really don’t think I’ve been that, to myself for 29 years. It’s time to press the reset button on my heart.
Loneliness is a possessive emotion, it thrives in the absence of felt love, even if that lonely person is surrounded by people that love them, if that love is never strategically expressed, meaningfully & on purpose in every day life, that love may never truly be felt, it may not be seen as a reality to that lonely person, because if that love is only expressed in times of distresses they likely will not believe it, in other words that love you think you have for them may fall on deaf ears, in the time of their need. Then you’ll regret it. So express love at any & everytime. Don’t wait until they’re broken until you express it.
Giving your whole heart to something or someone is the greatest act of vulnerability, but the fuel of the act is courage. It takes courage to see vulnerability as a gift to be given, rather than as a shame to be hidden.
We people wake up to the same morning, we see the same day, we see the same light spread across the land. We also see the same night over take the sky, but we still can see glimmers of light amongst the darkness.
Let us also see this in each other, when the day changes in our souls from light to darkness, help us see the change in each other. Help us see that when it is dark, there is still some light shining, even behind those temporary clouds of despair.
Let us see the stars in our hearts amid the darkness are actually fragments of love which are placed there by those spread around us, who love us, who want to guide us & help us through the night. Also to remember that when it is day in our hearts, we do not hide from each other, let us embrace & accept each other, as life is easily wasted on grudges, judgement & bitterness. Wake up oh sleepers.