This moment of our lives is unique

​I just witnessed a car slowly veer into oncoming traffic which just happened to be a truck on lancefield rd at 720am, but the truck pulled over to side of road in time to miss the red ute which veered toward him and took up half the lane. Then the ute came back into its lane after it missed the truck and drove passed me. I was angry and shocked at what i just saw and thought about tooting my horn at them as they drove passed… Was it fatigue driving and they just started drifting over? but a few moments after i thought maybe it was intentional..then i remembered reading about suicide by trucks in australia and how it’s not that uncommon…and i may have just witnesssed an attempt at it. As all this happened i was listening to a dramatic instrumental piece in the car called ‘sunshine (adagio in d minor)’ by john murphy. Listen as you read. 

So now i wrote something like this..
This moment of our lives is unique.

To be alive is a miraculous priviledge.

Have you pain inside which you can’t negate?

Is their loneliness you can’t escape..

Does it feel like too much

You can’t deal with whats on your plate?

Don’t linger on anger, despair or fate

Our lives are limited and fragile

Yet astounding and great.

Our pain is not our dictator

It is not an orrator for our life’s worth

Pain is a tool, it shows us our weakness 

It has the power to transform 

Ash into a great work of art.

Next time you feel pain

Don’t let it treat you like a slave 

You’re more then one bad feeling. 

You haven’t got much time left until the grave.

So be aware of your plight

And rather then squander your life

prepare to fight

Then i promise you’ll see a ray of light.

It’ll bring a change of focus.

The way you were before was just hocus pocus.

The life ahead of you is priviledged

Its unique and finite.

Treat it like new born child. Be gentle and supportive of all the weak areas. 

Then watch yourself grow into something beautiful.

Choose to live in the Anomaly for once..

“I owe my survival to a morning three years earlier when dust filled the air and i washed my face, wedged a roll of paintings under my arm, and paid a visit to an artist i never met before”
– Er Tai Gao, from his book ‘in search of my homeland’.

I had a dream last night that i was in some orderly group of guys, who were part of something together, then i had a sudden urge to walk out of the building the group was in and go for a walk, then on my return someone had come into the building and taken control of the group, and the guys were caught by the enemy. Upon waking from this dream i remembered the above sentence from a book i am reading, which i remember stood out to me as significant. I think the dream was a way for me to learn the concept of what i will call ‘living in the anomaly’. For example, Have you ever been in a group situation, where you were around friends or work mates and within yourself felt a sudden urge to do something rebellious, to go do your own thing, simply because  you have a desire to try something different? Then perhaps you ignored that feeling and joined in the conversation and acted interested, then went home as per usual.  The point i want to bring to your attention is, what if you did that something different?
How many movies are about people falling in love with strangers, or the kindness of strangers. We all want someone or something to come into our world that either saves us from trouble or gives us what we want but didn’t know how to attain ourselves.
Unfortunately our fear of the world, prevents a lot of us from embracing the risk of choosing the crazy liberating idea in our heads and instead we’re settling for more subtle, controllable expressions and actions so we aren’t seen as too weird for some.
The people around you are waiting for something they can’t describe, but mostly they want to feel connected, they want to be heard, they want to feel helpful, and there’s a chance that by you making an uncommon choice, by you listening to your often unspoken desires, by you walking a different path, talking to a new person, helping that stranger in the street, by you simply deciding to make a change to your daily routine, you may find something special, you may be the stranger the other person has been waiting for, so don’t be afraid to live in the anomaly as much as you want to, which is simply; to live with an open mind to change your behaviour and choices, and listen to your personal instinct, rather than silence it for the assumed good of those around you. Er Tai Gao had his life saved because he took a chance to meet with a stranger and that stranger saved him later in life from a death at a hard labour camp in china, so it’s the choice to change things in your life, to question your behaviours and to give yourself permission to make the different, possibly outrageous decisions in your daily life that lay dormant within yourself, which could be what those around you are waiting for, but it also could be what you need to do to save your own life.

Belief and Faith

We can believe in so many things in so many ways, we can believe in something because of the way it makes us feel, perhaps you feel you’ve found the ultimate truth because you feel like you finally have understanding. Look at your experiences in life, they have shaped your beliefs & you may not of had a choice about what you believed, it just may have been all you’ve known. There are many ways beliefs can be born in us, but the main catalyst for shaping our belief is when a person may influence you with their words or actions which challenge your beliefs.

Sometimes my beliefs can be a form of selfish indulgence which is like a fantasy, that i could believe in to cover up things I didn’t know how to face or didn’t want to. The notion of an ultimate spiritual truth is getting harder to believe the more i become aware of the world around me, we humans are so self-consumed, we have tunnel vision, we only look at our immediate needs and forget everything else, though we might take time out of our usual routine occasionally for a change and to feel something different.

I feel I never began to appreciate life until I embraced who I was & wanted to be & accepted that, though it’s a(sometimes very frustrating) work in progress. Our beliefs are powerful. Whatever we believe in, we can gain power & comfort from, or fear and shame depending on how and what we believe in at the time. I’m toying with the notion that Faith is a principle, as humanity has achieved its greatest feats by believing in things they have not yet seen, that they have not yet created. Life tends to favour the faith prone person rather than the cynical one. Though the faith prone one may fail again and again, once they do acheive their goal, it’s lasts a lot longer then any work the cynical one can do, because the cynical one stays within the safe zone, the predictable zone, their work lacks meaning and fosters complacency which stifles growth.

Its our beliefs that guide our journey, which are forged by our inner desires, which come from something mysterious in this universe.

Who shaped our hearts throughout childhood?

the people we grew up with. The pain & the joy, the desire & the rejection.

When do we discover who we are?

When we believe the impossibly good can happen to us regardless of circumstance which will hopefully drive us to find the best in ourselves, this is called living by faith, you can begin living by faith with whatever it is that you have in your heart and mind to believe or hope for at the moment and see where that takes you, its by living with faith we find out who we really are & can become, because faith allows us an option to escape the world we know and what we believe in will come from our desires, which will drive us on. so what is in your heart? what are you going to believe? do you live by faith?

The soul leaves the body

Your bodily expressions are evidence of your soul.

When the soul leaves the body it takes your eyes, voice, touch & hearing. The thing that fades away & will not leave this earth is your body, which becomes dirt once the soul is gone. So if you aren’t happy about your body remember it’s only temporary, its fragile & is not the part of you that is meant to last. This body we have is a gift, our time to live in it is running out, so respect it, but remember your soul is the lasting part of you. So work on building that part of you into something special, perhaps even ask God if he is there & if he knows your soul..
If this soul, this consciousness within you is destined to leave the body, perhaps we should take more notice of what things it cares about, as our bodies only care about finite things but the soul seeks eternal things. It also begs the question, that the things we do in this life may count for more then what we think it does at times.