Violent Whispers

This song inspired this stream of thought… https://youtu.be/tk36ovCMsU8 Silence by Marshmellow and Khalid.

Growing up I was a quiet one. Yet my emotions and inner thoughts were like violent whispers…whether it be shame and guilt or embarrassment and insecurity. My inner mind was always in a battle. Even as a Christian I was always playing a never ending game of jesus love and forgiveness versus my guilt and shame of not being perfect in my own will and understanding of my life. So after years of battling myself I worked out I had to let it all go. The self judgement. The game of right vs wrong while understanding that I am just a man with no ultimate truth, except this; that I am a man alive and in need of my own grace in regards to accepting my own percieved weakness and flaws, so I can move passed this and become a father able to love his family.

I need to remind myself of the value of this limited life and the love I have found and foster daily within my own family. As a parent your beliefs are reflected by your child as they mimic you on there journey to becoming their own person.

In summary, it’s about recognising and encouraging self acceptance, life and love that changes a man of violent thoughts and emotions to a passive man that can enable himself to be the man he wants to be, rather then a man formed by his own insecurities and everyone elses ideas and judgement upon him, unable to see beyond his own wall of self-pity.

Rule everything within you

Over controlled emotions are just as unnerving to one’s self as unrestrained emotions, but their effects occur unseen internally in the body, while unrestrained emotions often lead to an outward physical expression. The latter gives others an opportunity to take note of your feelings, the other leaves you to sort it out….or not, by yourself.  If you go it alone always source new arguments for and against your current emotional state. As we can be our own worst enemies who can’t see our own forest of feelings, behind our biggest tree of discontent at times. Don’t just believe yourself just because it seems the easiest, instead believe you can override any part of yourself if you so desired. Don’t be ruled by one thing within you, rather rule everything within you.

Humans and the earth

I am a stream of life flowing upon the earth.  Moving moment by moment. My heart is unique, yet a gift of chance, a fleeting leaf straggling in the force of the wind.

Whether my creation is by a divine hand or the result of an impossible chance of combined molecules, i see the gift of living as the same. Only the world we forge in our minds determine our worth and that of others.

Humanity repeats its history again and again which is the story of finding meaning amongst our desires and our sense of self. We fight for the things we want to protect, no better than any other animal.

It seems nature gave humanity a unique mind, we think we are better then the animals based solely on our sense of intelligence.

Nature brings humanity viruses killing millions. We create a protection through science and medicine but we fail to recognize that natures is counting on humanity dying, so it can thrive.
With minds of such intelligence we make wars upon each other. Perhaps nature allowed an intelligent mind to be ruled by emotions which may lead to violence, to keep humanity’s population lower. Perhaps our sense of evil behavior was instilled in us by nature as a form of self preservation for itself.

We are organic beings, we are connected to the earth, there may be a deep connection we fail to recognize as we forge kingdoms in our mind whom we choose to serve, rather than know the kingdom of the earth around us. Tribes who lived in close connection to the earth must know something a westernized technology ridden person can not perceive.

We think we need to create solutions for the earth when all the earth wants is for humanity to stop exploiting it and kull the ignorant part of humanity so it can heal itself.
Perhaps at a point in the future we may have to sacrifice our intelligence to find our place on this earth.