Giving your whole heart to something or someone is the greatest act of vulnerability, but the fuel of the act is courage. It takes courage to see vulnerability as a gift to be given, rather than as a shame to be hidden.
Loss, in our human experience is an overwhelming feeling. This is an attempt to explore it.
“The loss of someone you knew personally can overload your emotions and make you feel shipwrecked on an island of despair, surrounded by a calm sea and beautiful scenery, yet nothing around seems important, as the loss has overcome your senses, as tears become the only things that you find comfort in.
Now once the tears subside and you begin looking around, things still don’t quite have the look of adventure and excitement they once had, the world around you seems like a machine moving in sync with each different part of the environment, the waves crash their way into the sand as the sand seems to suck them in, the wind blows the trees and the birds move back and forth between them. Then you manage to fall to sleep, in a half-dazed state, while watching the machine keep moving around you, then you shut your tear strained eyes and drift into slumber.
You wake up to the sunrise and birds singing, with a slight headache as you havent been drinking much water, as you havent been able to look after yourself. You then think back to yesterday and the loss you experienced, tears well up but you have a bit more resolve and can start trying to think things through. The places around you now remind you of the person you lost, you go back to the track where you and they once walked, you touched the rock that you both touched to continue on the track, you stop where you both stopped for a break and ate snacks, you remember a distinct memory, where they said something, but you took it for granted and laughed it off. Now you wish only to be able to hear it again and instead of laughing, you want to say something better, something to show they are more appreciated, because you want them back…”
i had this urge to talk about loss, and the grief we can go though. There’s not really a simple conclusion as to why humanity and grief are so intimately intertwined, all i can say is that grief hits you the hardest when you lose someone you love.
Why is this? i think love makes us vulnerable and we also place our needs upon those we love, simply because they allow us to. So that’s why it feels like part of us is lost, once they’re gone. Yet i perceive this to be a beautiful thing, something we don’t appreciate.
We make grief appear to be the enemy of ourselves, but it’s our closest friend when all we love is gone. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Human life is destined for death, yet our fear of it and the potential grief it can bring can cause us to be distant from one another, cause us to lie to save face, so our struggles aren’t always shared. We shouldn’t be wasting time fearing the inevitable, as we have changeable things we can do here, there are good things and people to embrace now.
This is what we should fear most, the thought of choosing to live life alone only because we fear the feeling of loss.