Appreciating Life

Memory is an important tool in our daily life, it keeps us focused, it gets things done.
it reminds us to prepare things and buy things. It helps us to recall why we do things.
Though what i want to talk about is the living memory which is happening right now.
This is the most illusive of all, it’s called appreciation.

It’s very easy to go through life and live day by day. We get caught up in routine, we find new distractions, we work through different emotions and sometimes forget ‘what it’s all about’ amongst it all. It is important to stop and reflect about our lives and question ‘where we are at’ and test ourselves with tough questions like ‘who do i care about’ and’ why did i start doing this?’

As you may have been reading this you may have felt like you were reading some foreign language, you heard the words but didn’t connect them to your life. Well this is what i call ‘life blockage’.
When we experience intense emotions and behavior in our life, our survival instincts tend to kick in, which allows us to keep functioning but affects our ability or willingness to recall that time in our past. this is more the case for negative experiences, where you’re the victim of abuse or any type of hurt from someone you trusted, either by accident or on purpose. Maybe your hearts been broken or someone attacked you or it may not be as blatant as that, maybe you’ve found it hard to connect with people all your life, which may be the result of your childhood environment growing up, which you’re only now coming to terms with as you are moving into adulthood.

Sometimes in life, you have to go back before you can go forwards. If you sense a numbness within you and you find you don’t know how to remember whats important to you in your life, i can suggest some things to consider:

Bitterness – are you holding onto a hurt? if so you are only torturing your own soul, the other person won’t be affected by the ‘hate’ in your heart, only your life will be diminished even further. letting go and if possible forgiving the action that hurt you is your first start to growing into an appreciative human again.

Judgement – do you find you are critiquing many people around you? if so it may be a reflection on your own heart. we judge others harshly, when we judge ourselves harshly. You can’t get fresh juice out of a rotten orange. Start caring about yourself and be kinder to yourself and you may be surprised to find people may respect you more because as a  result of this change, you may not care as much when they make a mistake or offend you, so you become more likeable to others.

Regret – if only you did this or said that…we can easily halt our future by placing our anchors into our past if we aren’t careful. We make choices and then realize often after it’s too late to do anything about it, that it’s not what we wanted to say or do or not do. It’s hard to comprehend, and hard for me to surmize with words, but from my perspective at the moment, if we are holding onto anything of our past which distracts us from the journey of living our life and loving those around us today, right now, then we need to re-assess our feelings and willingness to allow these feeling/emotions to influence how we live today to ensure we don’t waste what we have right in front of us.

For more thoughts on ‘re-assessing yourself’ go to my other post Perception and Introspection

Giving your heart to something good

In life we have a tendency to have our attention consumed by our worries, our problems and our failures. While it’s healthy to reflect upon these things from time to time to learn from them or gather insight, it becomes a problem if we let our lives be overtaken by the feelings that often accompany these thoughts, generally it’s the fear of loss and failure. This can happen when we look into our lives and see the massive future we have in front of us, yet feel blindsided by our seeming lack of understanding and preparation for whats to come.

While it’s required to plan and prepare for many things in life, there is an aspect in life we also shouldn’t deny. It’s what i will call ‘Quiet Acceptance’, this is something we should also plan for, it’s a time to put our chores on pause, and embrace who we are and what we have become up to this point. This is actually hard to do for a lot of people.

It’s easy to think that a busy life is a good life, but it’s also possible it can keep our important thoughts and feelings beneath the surface, it can create a superficial happiness, where we can only rate our success according to the comparisons we place on others. I don’t think this is a good thing to do.

Our society tells us to be like other people, to like the same brands of products and have nice cars, this flows to our relationships. We watch other people, such as our friends and compare our value with the value we place on them or the value we hear others place on them.

The suggestion I put forward to you to counter this, is to regularly have a time of ‘quiet acceptance’, a time where you can reflect honestly and openly about your own life, let out as many of your emotions as you can such as; frustration, thankfulness, regrets, anger. Yell them to the wind and once you are satisfied, stop and wonder for a moment.

This moment is where you deal with the key things in your heart, this is also the moment where you are able to accept yourself, this is where you can learn to love, not only yourself, but all people, if you are willing to embrace yourself. As once we see our own weaknesses and frustrations aswell as our strengths and gratefulness, and embrace them, it opens our eyes to what other people are going through. It helps take away a negative mindset and allows us to give our heart to something better, something good, something like love or at least a pathway to it.